A New Year, Still Fat

I really haven’t given up, even though it seems like it for months at a time. It’s been over 7 months since my last post (218 days), but I’m still here. Still trying. 1 step forwards, 10 steps back.

I went to a couple of WW meetings after my last post, and lost a couple of kilos, but then stopped going, and didn’t get back until last month. On 4 May (May the Force be With You), I weighed in at 191.8 kg (422.8 lb). That’s the heaviest I’ve been since I re-joined WW back in May 2017. But in the 3 weigh-ins I’ve had since then, I’m down to 185.1 kg (408 lb). Not a huge drop, but it’s a start.

I’m trying a few new things this time. I went to see a new doctor, and we’ve devised a weight-loss plan that includes seeing an exercise physiologist, a dietician, and a psychologist. It seems that another of the many effects of the pandemic is that a lot of therapists aren’t taking new clients, so I’m still looking. But I’ve had a couple of sessions with an exercise physiologist, a young guy named Tom. I’ve had two of these weight-loss plans before, and both times I’ve made excuses. Never even booked an appointment with an exercise physio. I really don’t know why. I guess I didn’t think there was much they could do for me.

So far, the two things Tom has come up with are to get back to walking, every day if possible, starting out with just a few hundred meters. And he’s also got me in a therapy pool, doing some very low-intensity exercises. Not exactly a public pool, but still, I’m in there with a dozen or so other people, so it was a confronting experience. But if this is going to work, I’m going to have to get out of my comfort zone, right? When I thought about chickening out, I thought about people with facial disfigurement and the shit they have to deal with every time they go out in public. If they can do that, I can surely deal with a handful of people seeing me in a pair of swimmers.

My doctor has also put me on the list to work with the Obesity Management Clinic here, but so far I haven’t heard anything from them. Apparently there’s a bit of a waiting list. But in the meantime, I’m doing what I can. I’m getting more active. I’m tracking most days, and eating pretty healthily. Lots of vegetables. Small serves of lean meat (including steak a couple of times a week, on doctor’s orders). Minimal snacking. And no booze. Some days I’m more successful than others, but as so often happens when I’m feeling more motivated (and I think being back on my anti-depressants is helping with that), I’m mostly enjoying what I’ve been eating, and not really feeling deprived.

But it’s only been a month. The hard part is to keep going for the long haul. And to never give up so completely that I don’t start up again after I screw up. Even if it takes 200+ days to get back on track.

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