Weigh-in Day #13

I started the day out right yesterday, eating breakfast–admittedly, relatively light (a couple of scrambled eggs with chopped bacon)–and drinking water after my walk. From now on, weigh-in or no weigh-in, these are the things I do. I ate pretty good week last week, averaging 44 (out of 56) SmartPoints a day. I did have a bit of an indulgence on Friday and went over points because I drank a bit (okay, 6 glasses) of wine. The wine was great, I enjoyed it sitting out on the back veranda as the sun set and the day cooled and while watching a movie (Titanic, because the kids had never seen it) with the family. I regret nothing! 🙂

On the fitness front, Fitbit says I improved by every measure–more steps, more flights of stairs, more kilometers, more calories burned, more active minutes, and even a little more sleep (an average of 4 extra minutes a night compared to last week). I’m happy with that, and I suspect that next week’s report will be very different. I started my walk this morning and made it about 30 steps before I decided that I was in enough pain that I wouldn’t keep going. I’m not bendy enough to see it, but my wife tells me that I’ve got a cut or possibly cracked dry skin on the edge of the ball of my foot. It’s been hurting for nearly a week now, and I’ve been waiting for it to spontaneously heal, but it’s clear that it isn’t going to happen. So I’ve treated it, bandaged it, and I’m giving it a couple of days rest to see if that helps.

As for the weigh-in itself, I was happy to find that I’d lost 0.4 kg (0.9 lb) since last week. I went into it knowing that I’d consumed nearly a kilo of food and water, and suspecting that nearly half of last week’s loss was from dehydration, so I was fully prepared for a reckoning this week. So if I legitimately managed to lose almost a pound, I’ll take it. And I told the group that I’d been skipping breakfast before weigh-in, and let them know that I wouldn’t be doing it any more.

Mentally and emotionally, I’m feeling pretty good. I’m doing all the things, and while life feels very busy at the moment, it feels good to be getting things done, and to feel like I’m moving forward. I can’t say that I’m feeling overly energized (to be honest, I still feel tired and sore most of the time) or enthusiastic, but I am starting to feel a certain type of optimism, at least for the very near future. I still worry that I won’t be able to keep everything going for months or years, but I’m starting to feel confident that I can keep it going today. And tomorrow. And for the rest of the week. And for now, that’s good enough.

 

4 thoughts on “Weigh-in Day #13

    1. Thanks, Kate. 🙂 It’s feeling better, but I’m going to try to rest it over the weekend, and then hopefully get back to walking on Monday. I have to admit, I miss it, and feel a bit out of sorts. I’m still getting up at 5 (partly because my wife still has to get up at that ridiculous hour, and partly to stay in the habit) and I haven’t quite figured out what to do with myself.

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  1. I question if I can keep going for months and years every single day. I’ve lost enough now that I am regularly asked “What are you doing?”. I never have an answer because I never have any confidence that I will continue it. What I’m actually feeling when I get asked that is nervousness that I’m going to fail and be right back where I was in the blink of an eye. I still have 100 pounds I want to lose, and my guess is it will take another couple years. In less than two weeks I will have been working at this six months. By far the longest I’ve ever stayed strong. But I am supposed to do this for the rest of my life. All of a sudden six months doesn’t seem very long at all.

    I have finally figured out how to answer the question though…

    “What are you doing to lose the weight?”

    “I basically never eat or drink anything I really want.” Sadly, that’s a true statement.

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    1. I’ve been thinking the same thing, and the answer I keep telling myself is that there’s no way I can keep doing it every single day forever. At some point, I’m going to screw up. Big time. I’m just accepting that as a given, and trying to focus on what I’m going to do after the screw up. Based on past experience, I will get depressed (or even more depressed, since it’s likely that depression will be involved in the screw up in the first place), I will make a lot of excuses, and I will tell myself that I just can’t lose the weight and that it was a waste of time and effort to try. And then I will put the weight that I’ve lost back on. I really don’t want it to happen that way this time, so I’m doing as much as I can to prepare myself and to change my mindset.

      And part of that change is exactly what you’re talking about–the feeling that I never get to eat or drink what I really want. I know I can’t do that long-term. I’m doing two things to avoid that feeling

      (1) I track what I eat so that, while I can’t eat *everthing* I want, I get to eat *some* of the things I want, and as long as I don’t go overboard, it doesn’t screw up my weight loss. So in our house, Fridays are Cheeseburger Night. When I first started losing weight, I gave up the cheeseburgers. I did the bunless burger. I skipped the fries. I tried one of my wife’s veggie/bean/whateverthehell patties. And it all sucked. Now I just eat a lighter breakfast and lunch, and then I enjoy my damned cheeseburger. Sometimes I have a grilled chicken burger instead of a beef patty, and I have a smaller serving of fries, but I always try to make it feel like a decadent treat, and I savor every bite. I figure one of the main reasons I’m trying to lose all this weight is so that I can enjoy life more, and that just can’t involve giving up cheeseburgers.
      (2) I’m learning to like new things. Which is hard, because I don’t really like a lot of the things I consider “diet food”. I married a vegetarian, so over the years I’ve managed to get past the “salad isn’t food; it’s what food eats” mentality, but I’m looking in a Weight Watchers cookbook right now, and when I see things like “Tuna and Noodle Lettuce Wraps” and “Halloumi, Asparagus & Brussels Sprouts Salad” and I’d rather eat the damned book. But not all the recipes are like that, and through a LOT of trial and error, I’m slowly finding more and more meals that I enjoy, that are healthy (or at least healthier than what I’ve eaten in the past), and that don’t seem like “diet food”.

      I’m hoping that between those two strategies, I’m going to be able to find a way to eat in a way that I don’t constantly feel deprived. And my backup plan, for when it all goes to hell and I just HAVE to eat [whatever] or I’m going to lose my damned mind, is to just eat [whatever], enjoy it, take the hit, and move on. To not look on it as a failure that means I can’t do it, might as well quit, etc. And to try to make sure the enjoyment I get out of eating it is worth it.

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