Just Not Feeling It

I’ve been feeling really bummed out the last couple of days. I don’t know if it’s just coming down from a couple of weeks when I felt particularly motivated or enthusiastic, or if it’s something else. Part of it, I think, is the pain. I’m starting to think that it’s not all from the big 22,000-step day, but that the morning walks and the 10k-step days are going to leave me sore. Every. Single Day. And that’s kinda depressing.

I walked Tuesday morning, but did very little additional walking, and ended up doing only 7,370 steps. Almost half of those steps were during the walk, and according to Fitbit, I was only active for 7 additional minutes the entire day. That’s not good.

And yesterday, I totally skipped my morning walk. My excuse was that my feet were pretty banged up, in part because I’ve apparently worn out my walking shoes, so I wanted a day to break in the new pair, and to give my feet a chance to heal. And also that I’d had to stay up late (11:00, which is only late if you’re a child, an old person, or you get up at 5am to go for a walk) to pick my son up from a school function. But all that was pretty much just bullshit. The truth is that I was hurting, I was tired, I was bummed out, and I didn’t want to do it. In the end, though, I got nearly as many steps as Tuesday, and 52 active minutes. Apart from some shopping and running errands, I’m not sure when I was active, but maybe I didn’t sit on my ass quite as much as I think I did. But still, not good.

This morning I got up and went for my walk, and while I’m still feeling pretty bummed, I think the walk helped. Listening to my Happy Walking Tunes helped. The lesson about gratitude in my morning guided meditation (I use the Calm app) helped. Hell, maybe the new shoes helped. I’m still not feeling very motivated, but I feel better than yesterday, and that’s good.


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